Today I have been thinking a lot about respect. I only really slept for a few hours last night because Magic decided to wake up at 6am. And I guess that was all the sleep I needed because I couldn`t seem to rest any more. I have decided to stop getting upset with her for things like eating my work papers and jumping on the counters.

Now I just say no and put her in her travel cage for 5 mins. It sure does feel a lot better than yelling and chasing her around the house like a mad woman. And she is seeming to respond better now. She has become a lot more affectionate and talkative since I have stopped the drama. She sits on my lap and makes all sorts of cute cat noises while I am working at my desk.

So I guess the moral is that the less out of control one gets in an unsatisfactory situation, the more respect is earned. I learned this recently with a friend who tend towards the dramatic side sometimes. She was very upset that I wouldn`t participate in her tantrum and take the bait. The more she tried to provoke me the more important it was to stay calm. I suppose these are lessons that I have learned before, especially with my nephews. But I guess I have had a few more of these tests of late.

I wonder what it means when you seem to be learning a lot of the same types of lessons in the same time period? Maybe I am preparing for some big final exam. Well, as exhausting as it may be, it seems to be getting easier to handle negativity without letting emotions take over. I suppose I need to just remember not to take things personally. Because most of the time, it`s not about me. And as a result of this realization, I am learning to respect myself a whole lot more.

I did my yoga today and even managed the complete backbend. So I guess I am not all the way back to the beginning after all. I was kinda out of sorts for the rest of the day though and I am not sure why. I was unfocused and spacey even taking a whole hour to pick out one pair of shorts. Indecision really annoys me. I am going to learn to flip a coin more. Or in the very least, ask myself, does it REALLY matter?

Today I am grateful for calm.

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