Confronting Anger

So I met with a friend for coffee this morning and he said after hearing my mood, “Carmella, you are just to damn nice for India”. Another friend mentioned it may be good for me to get angry and stand tall…that spoke to me as well. I have always been afraid of expressing anger. But there is no honor in sticking my head in the sand or suppressing emotions for fear of others judging me or labeling me as negative or bitchy. You may not like it but at least you’ll respect me for my honesty. You know what they say: Better out than In. So here goes:

I am disgusted at disgraceful obscene men! Shame on the pricks who tried to grope my privates as I pushed through the busy crowded streets. Damn you man at the beach who wouldn’t stop staring at me sickly as I made my way into the water. Your lack of respect and dignity oozes from you in a repulsive stench. The same goes for you sneering dirty boys who mutter crass insults when I politely refuse to let them take a photo with me.

I am pissed at the packs of wild dogs that chase and bully people on the beach or in side streets. I have always been a cat person and now I know why. I haven’t seen any germ infested cat gangs preying on people or attacking small children. Animal control, where are you? Is this where the slimy perverts learn and justify the energy of their game?

Shame on those two old cold and calculating Russians who stole my purse from the market. I saw you there eyeing me up and mistook your fake smiles for friendliness. In fact, you are greedy pigs who have no morals or values. I should have known better…Russians don’t smile.

I pity that bitter old bag who hates herself so much she has to use and demean others. You spend all your time gossiping about others shortcomings and stupidly don’t see how this just feeds your own demons. You are pathetic and pitiful to isolate and pick on someone who only tried to be your friend. Way to scorn the sisterhood. Your selfishness makes you ugly from the inside out. What a sad little life you have.

Screw all you bus men, petrol station dudes, taxi drivers, and store keepers who took advantage by overcharging and down right lying to make a buck. Your crooked ways will only earn you contempt and hatred. You are a fool to trade your dignity for a few pennies.

I am mad at the silly old man who implies that the degree that a women invites rape depending the clothing she wears or the way in which she walks. Wake up and join the 21st century, male chauvinist a$$hole. There is no excuse for disrespecting one another. No being deserves to be violated and your preciously held archaic beliefs just showcase your primitive character.

I am annoyed at all these damn mosquitos which keep feeding off my blood while I am sleeping. I look like I have the chicken pox now and spend half my day scratching itches. I am developing a new respect for scary but helpful spiders who are intent on whacking you sucky vampires.

I’m angry I’ve lost all my photos and writing which I stored on my iPhone. I am pissed at myself for indulging in a false sense of security at the market just because the salesgirl was also Canadian. I am vexed at the relentless touts who refuse to listen and continuously invade my personal space forcing me into a space of rudeness.

I am saddened by my poor choice of “friends” who are too weak or cowardly to stand up for what is right. Don’t you know you are contributing to the energy of negativity when you participate (even passively) in hurtful verbal or physical assaults? You wear this lack of integrity like a layer of dirt which inevitably rubs off on all those you touch. Shame on me for trusting blindly and gifting you the benefit of the doubt. No connection is worth this kind of soul betrayal.

I am enraged at all those who abuse, intimidate, oppress, objectify, torment, bulldoze, harass, persecute, use, and torture others. You are the vermin, the scum of the earth.  This next piece is dedicated to you:

Exposing Evil

Brutal intentions caressing clean hands
Sentiments rescuing from the wastelands
Lips of deceit swear eternal bliss
Seed of destruction your poison kiss
Master of malice take hold of her heart
Convince her you love thee by playing the part
Stealth Savage devil pursuing your prey
Entice to your hovel then force her to stay
You are unnatural, standing for hate
Exploit this sweet angel for taking the bait
Savor her agony, slice up her hope
You are the addict and she is your dope
Create the illusion that you are the One
A sinister laugh as you snuff out her sun
Smashing her stars you bury her moon
Empty her ocean and bring her to ruin
Crushing her wings you now light the abyss
Smother her song murdering kindness
Tears are your heroin, trust is your pill
Cover her eyes and move in for the kill
Introduce your world of vicious pain
Sip virgin blood to further your gain
Muffle her screams, ignore her cries
Who shall pay when she dies?

Forgot about karma now sealing your fate
Forsaken the lamb holding keys to the gate
Activate keeper of all laws divine
Declaration of Death will not even this fine
She touches you gently awakening hope
Provoking your spirit which grasps at the rope
A taste of true ecstasy, essence of good
But erased by your evils: the meaning of could
Bringing injustice and vexing the gods
Sentence damnation the jury applauds

Cripple your thoughts crumble numb all you feel
Whispering lips remind Thou Shall Not Steal
Pain grows to pity and panic to calm
Screams turn to silence. She opens her palm
Caressing your paralyzed heart with her gaze
Ascension to light bathed in heavenly haze
She holds up your spirit to trade with the Tower
Empty your force soul salvation for power
Misuse of your space in freedoms dimension
Thieves will not prosper Begin the Redemption

Grateful for no longer letting them fuck with me.


 

 

 

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One Response to Confronting Anger

  1. lana.A says:

    Good for you Carmella … confront … understand … then deal with anger …
    and remember you don’t have to put with any of this … i am happy that your blog is a way for you to express and share … that’s a good thing …
    i am slo grateful for you sharing … it reminds me of my own feelings … it reminds me that i am not alone … and neither are you …

    kisses

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