Endless Possibilities

So here’s the thing. It’s really hard to pick up blogging once you have let a lot of time lapse. It’s much like getting back on that proverbial horse. I also used to get this feeling with work, when I used to be stuck in a cube in front of a computer screen surrounded by towers of papers screaming deadlines at me. I never felt I could get ahead as there was always, ALWAYS more to do. Catching up was some mythical place I had never been to and it seemed the harder I tried, the more work would come. How did that happen? I see now in hindsight that it was almost like an addiction…work. I guess as an over-achiever I felt important and useful but that was not worth the well being and balance I sacrificed. Anyway, this feeling of never doing/being/having enough overcame me and caused my eventual downfall. These days, I am so glad of that. I am lucky to have had an internal failsafe switch which manifested in a somewhat nervous breakdown. It was the only  way I would stop and realized this ridiculous race I was running could never be won.

Though catching up my writing is not nearly as high pressure, I realize that there are a lot of details that will forever be lost in the cracks and crevices of my mind. Oh well. It happens. And perhaps its for the best this time. These past six months have been quite awesome in so many ways and I think that time has been an integral part of the understanding of just how awesome. I mean, there has been an undertone of mystery that has played a role in my recent travels and much foreshadowing that could only be explained much later. So perhaps I will go back there and delve into some of these phenomenal stories. Maybe I won’t. But what I will do is start now. Because I am at the beginning of a new book. And I finally feel ready to write again.

I am leaving in a week for another great adventure. Back in August I began a roadtrip which included pulling my little 13 foot Trillium trailer from Canada through Montana, Idaho, Nevada, and California. I flew over to Colorado for a week and have now stashed my car and trailer down on the California coast to have a short month in Canada before heading back down to the warm. I have had a magical time at Burning Man, made oodles of new friends, and had some of my most serene moments with Mother Nature herself. Its been a wild ride. And its not over yet.

I came back to Canada to see if I could rent my condo out for the winter. In all honesty, I didn’t try very hard. I placed an ad on a couple obscure rental sites and then forgot about it. I then busied myself with visiting friends and family whom I have come to realize, are a very important part of my life. I mean, I always love them from afar but I think its important to reconnect regularly. I am beginning to understand the value of relationship maintenance. Best investment ever.

Suddenly when I had all but conceded to having to dodge the snowflakes for the next few months, I got a phone call. It was pretty much the perfect tenant wanting to rent my place for the winter. I had had minimal interest up till now and noone had passed the initial screening process. But my gut told me this one was different. I was in Calgary making my rounds, but something inside me told me I had better scurry back up north to show this prospect my pad. It was a good choice indeed and within hours of him viewing the condo, we were signing papers. It took me a day or so to realize…I am free. I canceled the belly dancing and pottery courses I had signed myself up for to get my through the Canadian deep freeze, and began sussing out my options. London, Turkey, New Zealand, Oz, South Africa…those few are prominent at this moment.

The last time I had this feeling was back in 2002 when I really didn’t have a clue. This time I understand the gravity of my position. And I am not only extremely grateful but super excited. In a week,  I am heading down to Miami to jump on a ship which will take me to Grand  Caymen, Mexico, and Honduras. Hopefully I will get a little sun and scuba which can thaw the impeding chill. As I write this, I am watching my first major blizzard of the year out my window and a trillion icy reminders of why I am so lucky.

Grateful for freedom.


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