BE the Change you want to SEE

The things I am learning right now are just how important it is to be responsible with my energy. It has been easy in the past to just do what I wanted because I really didn`t think that my actions affected anyone except me. I now am beginning to comprehend how naïve that type of attitude is. And it can have disastrous results if one is not living to their potential. I cannot know what results my good deeds will have but I need to be very aware of my mistakes. It is sooo hard to admit them but recognizing and correcting our faults will have a stronger lasting effect to the development of the human race. All my good efforts will have been in vain if I cannot overcome my obstacles.

Again, my greatest teachers are children. They really magnify things and allow me to see just how powerful our words and actions are. Whether we realize it or not, we are every moment, creating our reality. And when we make choices, be it large or small (perception has a lot to do with what weighting it will have for us personally) they will, create a ripple effect. It is a proven fact. I guess I have always kinda known this stuff but the gravity of the responsibility has just hit me.

I see the instant manifestation certain patterns or behaviors have on my nephews. It is truly fascinating to watch. It is also extremely sickening to see them incorporating negative behaviors learned from…me. I would liken the feeling I get when I see them mimicking one of my flaws to an adult finding the toddler attempting to smoke a cigarette from their open pack.

The truth is, how can I expect anyone else to live up to their potential if I am not doing it myself. Oh yes. I know that I have been too forgiving with myself, abiding in a state of careless unconsciousness. The thing is, once you become conscious of this stuff, you can never go back. I will have it on my conscience if pass on my bad habits to these little impressionable people. If I pass on my issues may have to deal with these same issues that I do, but perhaps may not have the same resources to cope. My stuff isn’t theirs but by my failure to learn, I am stunting their growth when they follow my lead.

I often wonder how I could change the world. I see now that I am RIGHT NOW, whether I admit it or not. How am I changing is what I need to be concerned with. We are all examples. I have been reflecting on what kind of example I have been. Though I would not expect perfection, I have to admit I have been very complacent. I know better than I have been living. I guess I just didn’t think it mattered. But seeing how I am affecting these children who depend on me for more than I can understand, has changed everything. These children will inherit a portion of my life. What will I give them? I tried to talk to them, their 10 year old minds could just not grasp what I was trying to convey. Kids will assimilate our actions much more deeply than words we say. I realize that all these words that I write mean nothing if I am not acting in accordance with my truth.

I used to justify things because I would just tell myself that I need to learn things the hard way. And that if anyone copied me then it must be their path to overcome it too. How blind was I? I have an opportunity to face and overcome my obstacles so THEY will not have to. This is how we will advance the human race. Not by repeating generations of stupidity, ignorance, and refusal to take responsibility for their negative contribution to the world. I lie to myself when I refuse growth and change. I am a lot of things but I never want to be remembered as a liar. Dishonesty in any form is unacceptable in my paradigm of positive morality.

I know I have been lazy. I know that everything is a choice (every moment’s a choice, every choice is a chance, every movement we make is a chance to advance) but I didn’t realize that my refusal to grow and embrace chance has grave consequences to others. I affect the future and I cannot live with the mark I am currently leaving. It’s not that it’s bad, per say, but its not an accurate depiction of my truth. I can do better.

All I can say is that with kids around, it sure makes the right thing more visible. Some people find God or use Jesus to remind them of their duty. But these little living sponges of love (my nephews) are what have shaken me awake and inspire me. We can lie to ourselves, but when we consciously make the wrong choice in the presence of children, it hurts. We feel pangs of shame and guilt for a reason. I guess it is really hard for me to accept the power that I have within myself. That is a lot of responsibility but I wouldn’t have it if I couldn’t handle it. Naturally.

What am I going to do now? Make the “better” choices.

Grateful for responsibility.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.” – Marianne Williamson

This entry was posted in InSpired. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply