Power of Integrity

Integrity is defined as this:
Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code. The state of being unimpaired; soundness. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

Over the past few weeks, I have challenged myself with doing what I say and saying what I do. It`s not easy but it`s REALLY not easy when you don`t see it happening around you. I have let myself get let down. I have believed in the wrong people or perhaps I just expect too much. It`s just one of these things that has been eating away at the fabric of my relationships.

I will be the first to admit that I have been a number one villain in this crime. I would say things with the best of intentions even in that moment wondering on some level just how much I meant it. It got to a point where it was more or less silly and almost a game. But now I am experiencing the negative effects and am appalled. I see what kind of person I looked like when I would break promises, “forget” commitments, and generally renege.
They say the most important ability is reliability. When I look up “unreliable” in the thesaurus, I find a bunch of very ugly words.

deceitful, deceptive, delusive, disreputable, dubious, fake, fallible, false, fickle, fly-by-night, furtive, hollow, implausible, inaccurate, inconstant, pseudo, sham, shifty , treacherous, tricky, uncertain, unconvincing, undependable, underhanded, unfaithful, unsound, unstable, untrue, untrustworthy, vacillating, weak

Most of all, I don`t feel good about myself.

The best way for me to explain how serious this can affect things is by the way my little nephews have reacted. Now that my nephews no longer live across the street, I have to make a solid effort to drive across town to see them. The consequence of not going is that I will missing out on a lot of their growth in their key years. With all of their classes, clubs and appointments, it is not easy to just wedge myself into their busy schedule when I “feel” like it.

I have recently committed myself to spending an hour with each one every week at the same time. This is the most important “meeting” I have to adhere to other than my weekly teleconference with TravelPod. As time goes by, I am realizing just how important constancy is in love. Aside from cultivating my relationship with these these bright gems, I am learning the value of integrity.

It`s not that we do anything all that special when we get together. Sometimes we just play games or go eat. But the magic is in the reliability of something stable. Perhaps they didn`t have a lot of faith in their free-spirited, fly by the seat of her pants auntie when she would sometimes be there and sometimes not, depending on how she felt. It`s not that I even made plans before basically living on “maybes” and “we`ll sees”. I didn`t want to block myself into anything “just in case.” I didn`t see the fault in this and actually justified it by telling myself that I should be “true to myself” and “do what I feel when I feel it” in order to “go with the flow.”

Here is the thing: After only two dates, I noticed a dramatic difference in how they acted towards me and around me. It was amazing and it didn`t take long for me to realize the power of integrity. Once again, these precious little people have taught me an important life lesson. I know that as long as my nephews see me building my integrity every week, then I have contributed in a small way. Perhaps it won`t change the world, but it will make a difference in their day.

This entry was posted in In Reflection. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply