Thanksgiving Fall – Portals Nous, Spain and Canary Islands

I am feeling unusually pensive today and tho it is heavy, I like it. I guess maybe I am feeling a little more like myself. I wrote last night in the middle of the night again. That is something that hasn`t happened in a long time and I am glad when it does. Tho it disrupts my sleep (ah…who needs sleep anyway when you can nap for hours on end? ) I seem to come up with some good stuff in these quiet times. While the world around me steeps in the midnight tea, I pluck meaning from the silence transforming it to words.

Note to self: Do not try to climb stairs in the dark. Make the extra effort to find the light switch especially if not in your own house.

Last night, I fell down and hard. I lost my breath and for the first time in a long time, I was scared from pain. It shook me enough to be very very grateful for my health because for a few moments there, the pain was excruciating. I can`t imagine how people live with this for hours, days, even years on end. I twisted my right arm but luckily it didn`t snap. The worst is my thigh which seems to have some kind of intense bruise the size of my foot (I take size 8.5) growing near the bone. This is one I will need to watch because it feels a little strange and I think it`s going to be one of those silent killers that show up a week later.

I am walking a little funny now and I guess it serves me right for making fun of Alex in all his gimpiness. Alex, if you are reading this, don`t worry…I am fine but for once, did not feel like bragging about my “trip”. There seemed to be a lot of crashes yesterday including the old lady who fell behind the bus at the market. Even Homer got in on the action smashing some dishes in the early morning hours.

So, today is Thanksgiving which I would have never remembered if my boss didn`t remind me on Friday. There will be no turkey or cranberry for me this year. Infact, the whole meaning of it escapes me save for a good excuse to gorge on whatever fixings are fixed up. Unlike the tradition in the United States of remembering Pilgrims and settling in the New World, Canadians give thanks for a successful harvest. I am not a farmer and don`t feel especially thankful for any harvest that I didn`t take part in planting, sowing or even eating, for that matter. I won`t bother faking it for the sake of tradition.

I will however start a new tradition which will perhaps make me seem a little less like an ungrateful self-absorbed sod. This is Carmella`s “Today I am Grateful for:” tradition that was first introduced to me by my darling little nephews (the source of so many good things in my life).

“What does that mean?” I asked my sister, pointing to the small calendar filled with little names, words, and phrases. I saw Auntie a few times and as I hadn`t even been in the country on those dates, I wondered why I was slotted in.

“Oh that…yes.” Trina said softly with a gentle reflective smile. “The boys think of something to be grateful for everyday in their prayers at night. I like to write it down for them. On low days, it helps reminds us what we are doing here and helps move us out of our rut.”

I scanned the weeks seeing things like green grass, fishes, mommies, books, and fresh air. Kids. They are so smart. Thanks for the idea Trina. Once again, you have shown your self to be an extraordinary sister and mother. How lucky I am to know you.

Today I am grateful for my health. I am grateful to be able to run, jump and roll down grassy hills (even though I don`t very often, I could). I am grateful that I can breathe with out coughing and touch my toes with out wincing. I am grateful I to have full use of my legs and hands that don`t tremble. I am grateful to have such sharp senses…especially sight, which was not always my case. I am grateful that my immune system is so strong and has kept me well despite my own thoughtless attacks on it. I am grateful to be allergy free thus able to enjoy all foods and the animals I love so much. I am grateful for my heart which keeps beating constant and strong no matter what the weather in my life.

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