Monthly Archives: May 2005

REALLY Happily Ever After

So. How does it feel to be home? I feel different. I feel a little wiser. A little more weathered. A little more genuine. Life. It`s not all peaches and cream. But it is real. And real matters. Real feels. It feels to a level and intensity that nothing superficial can touch. And now I know that is a fact. I spent a lot of time and energy trying to substitute and short cut my way through…for one reason or another. But I just can`t simulate the real deal. The authentic article produces a result like no other. I may get amazingly close and even fool a lot of people (including myself). But in the end, there is a sense of emptiness. A nagging tug that something just ain`t right. read more

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Dear Darkness

Dearest Dark Side,

Never again. I am wise to your ways now and I will not be misled. Now I know what you look like. I have seen your face. You`ll NEVER defeat me. Through this battle…I have discovered a key. In trying to destroy me, you have strengthened my character and created a legend. read more

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The CATalyst

About my trip: It was more than I ever could have imagined in all my wildest dreams…BUT, I had no idea what I was getting into. Sometimes it was almost too much. Highest highs show you lowest lows. I would even get overwhelmed and try to numb myself from it all. Honestly, it was so hard sometimes. I had to face a lot of truths. A lot of monsters. A lot of disappointment. A lot. Denial is one of the strongest demons that I know. I was pretty high so I had a long way to fall. I was raw and beyond shock when I hit my rock bottom. read more

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Marriage of Then and Now

Cortney was waiting for me with open arms and helped me haul my suitcases and backpacks into her house. Our house! I greeted her little dog Max who was more than happy to see me again dancing around my feet like a whirling dervish. I thanked Cort graciously for sharing her space with me for the next while. I can`t imagine a better place to decompress and get my head together. She has great taste and just happens to have ALL the coolest gadgets. read more

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Just like old with a brand new shine – Edmonton, Alberta, Canada

I was pretty calm most of the way home as I was able to keep busy with reading and eating and the movie. Did you know that some flights are now charging for meals? How strange is that! Its like you have to order from a few ridiculously priced items or not eat at all. I guess if people bring their own snacks they won`t be able to complain about the horrible plane food will they. Anyway, I got to finish off my cookies that I had left over from Argentina, so that was happy. The guy beside me happened to be a scientist who kept my attention focused on the merits of physics and philosophy. I spent the last few minutes in my relieved silent tears congratulating myself on a job well done. read more

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Harmony – Toronto, Canada

So now it is 330am and I leave in three hours to the airport. I am not even going to attempt sleep tonight. I have so much emotion pulsating through my body right now. I am so grateful. I feel so blessed. I cry every time I think of all the beautiful moments of awe and wonder I have experienced. I sit here and close my eyes sending out a mental thank you. Did you feel it? I am nearing the finish line. It`s my final lap and I can hear the crowd. The cheers and congratulations are so heartfelt one can`t help but be inspired. Places, faces, moments and memories flip through my head like a slide show. I am so proud of myself. I did it. read more

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The Final Fiesta – Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Joanna and I dolled ourselves up and bounced out to go clubbing for my last big night out. We matched outfits…she was black and I was white and we both had sexy pink highlights. A short cab ride later we arrived at a place called Guvernment and had an amazing time, like always. The heavy sound system pulsed and throbbed throughout the high ceilinged warehouse-like main room. Another smaller room had such loud bass that it felt like it had scrambled my entire chemical makeup. The lights were stellar and the set up was fantastic…who knew they had this kind of thing in my HOME country! read more

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The Long Walk – Toronto, Ontario, Canada

Next I passed by the Canada Life Building which has a tall lit beacon that tells you the weather. The ball at the top is color-coded but no one can seem to remember what means what. Just to clear it all up here is how it works: green means clear, red means cloudy, flashing red means rain and flashing white means snow. I imagine if it was snowing you wouldn’t really see it then, would you…tricky. There are also lights up the tower which indicate weather temperature is rising or cooling or stable. Clever little (well, its actually quite a good size…yes, size matters) invention which makes watching the weather channel pale in comparison. read more

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The Tallest Building in the World – Toronto, Ontario, Canada

I woke up and puttered around taking my sweet time getting ready before setting out. Armed with a map and some snacks, I ventured out to conquer downtown Toronto. I walked down through Chinatown inhaling the unique pungent flavors that define their culture so well. I crunched on an apple as I tried to take in all the wares in every shape and color and some I had never heard of. I have decided that if I want something ethnic, I should just go to that country to get it. It`s just more special that read more

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Triple D – Doing the Domestic with Daniella – Burlington, Canada

I was really happy to see my cousin Danielle again. She came to fetch me and we went for a Thai lunch. I had a green curry and she had mango chicken…it was yummy in my tummy. We loaded my pack into the car and chatted catching up all the way back to Burlington where she and her husband live. It takes about an hour to drive to this quiet and peaceful suburb where Danielle has spent most of her life. read more

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