What are you waiting for? – Buenos Aires, Argentina

So I sit here 10 floors up above the city in my 8×12 foot room. The time is ticking. The countdown is on. And its moving faster than I can keep track. Its sunny out as I can see it creeping in through the slats in the blinds but I can feel the cool air wafting through. It doesn’t really bother me tho because I have made it habit to wear my fluffy scarf around my neck most of the day and night. I have had my morning tea and now I am just wondering what I should do today.

I am listening to some new music we just got in preparation for this weekends party. This is really our last weekend for going out and it just hit me that in less than three weeks, I will be home. Whoa. Just writing that made me have a weird feeling not unlike the pullback you get when you get swept over by a wave and it sucks you circular. Three steps forward, two steps back. Swim harder. I don’t care anymore if what I am writing makes sense. Because I am starting to realize that my sense is much different than others.

The big topic on my mind at the moment is why people SAVE things for later. You know those people who keep their living room eerily untouched and freak out at the slightest footprint in the carpet? What about the people who display the good china in a cabinet only to use it once a year if its lucky? Or the glass chessboard thats `just for show`. Oh. Dont light that candle or it will melt. Duh. I cant wear that, its only for special occasions. Like your death?

Why is it forbidden to use the `good` or `nice` stuff? Why do people insist on living in musuems? People buy things to improve their quality of life then are petrified to actually USE them. Instead they display them or hide them depending on their neurosis waiting for the day that is good enough to pull the plastic off the furniture, so to speak.

When will they feel worthy of enjoying the fruits of their labour? When will they get over this poverty complex? When will they realize there is a difference between wasting and using? The irony is that every moment they are not using they are wasting. The worst tho is when you see this inflicted on little children. It breaks my heart to see little robotic dolls who are to be seen but not heard hovering like ghosts around their critical judgemental parents. Children whos imagination and curiousity is crippled and smothered stiffling any opportunity for growth into who they really are.

I confess that I had a touch of this illness. It was of the procrastination vien but the general idea is all the same. I had piles of papers and stuff waiting in my basement for me to go through. One day, I would sort them and keep only the important stuff. Well one day came but not by my choice. Mother Nature decided to visit on me a massive storm which flooded my basement in a foot of sewage water. After all was said and done, I have to say it was more of a feeling of relief than anything else. And still to this day, I havent missed anything. Infact, I barely remember what was down there. One thing is for sure, I am not going to wait for or save `happiness` for a special occasion.

One day my sister was complaining that she cannot have anything nice anymore now that she has kids. I remember walking into my house after that conversation with every picture straight and every couch cushion perfectly placed. And I remember realizing in that moment of still silence, that what she has in her house, her affectionately nicknamed `destroyers`, are nicer, and more valuable, than anything I could ever buy. Well, I suppose children are good for giving one perspective. I guess I should somehow tie this rant together with something about travel.

Well, my best piece of travel advice….Prioritize. Simplify. Travel light. Perhaps one of the most effective cures for the above mentalities are backpacking. WHAT REALLY MATTERS? You wanna bring the kitchen sink with you? Fine but your carrying it and I bet after trudging up millions of stairs with that straped to your back, you will conviently lose it. Everyone has their priorities but for heavens sake, dont stumble around in the dark waking up the whole dorm because your `saving` your flashlight batteries. So whats really bothering me? Well, now I am going home. What if I havent learned anything? What if I revert right back into who I was before I left? What if my `self` I `found` gets lost on the plane ride home? What if I wake up and it was all just a dream?

Oh yeah…by the way..GO FLAMES GO!

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